Who Am I...?

Sometimes's I wonder,
"Who am I anymore?"
Time flies by so fast...
And I change.
I change too fast.

Running ahead of myself,
Trying to keep up...
Falling behind.
I plead, "Time, please stop!
Let me stay right here
Just a little longer...
Let me catch my breath."

Once in a while time seems to listen,
Just long enough for me to find
Sketchy answers...
Puzzle-piece answers to my question,
"Who am I?"

I look past all the change.
And deep within, there is me -
The part that stays the same.

Simply put, I am a young woman.
A daughter, a sister...
A wife, a soon-to-be-mother...
A baby girl on the way.

I am still a little girl, though.
Raking leaves and jumping in...
Sights and scents of childhood remembered.
A far away look through misted eyes.
A smile.

I am a crazy girl,
Giggling at everything,
Showing my alleged 'blonde streak' often.

I am a deep thinker.
Long stretches of time spent thinking of what was,
What is, what could be...
What will be,
Or what could have been.

I was the tough-girl tomboy.
Shunning all things deemed 'too girly',
Playing with snakes and spiders.
I had to climb the highest trees,
Be the bravest,
And run the fastest...

I am still the tough-girl tomboy...
But it comes out in different ways.
I must shoot guns with the guys,
Chug the most rum...
I must do those things the guys say I can't...
Like draining a bottle of hot-sauce through a straw.
(Not always are the smartest things done
In the effort to remain a tomboy...!)
"Man... she's hardcore!"
That's what I like to hear.

I am sensitive,
And with an artist's heart
I treasure the simple beauty
I find in small things:
A splash of color -
Living green, or startling blue...
Music, too beautiful for words.
A tiny leaf...
A delicate flower.

I run towards danger,
A reckless love
For things that make my heart pound:

A deafening clap of thunder,
The rush of a waterfall...
The roar of a tiger.
Thudding bass,
While driving fast.
Tall mountains...
The strong pull of ocean waves.
Walking to the edge of the cliff -
Just to see how close I can get.

But I also crave peace,
And in the safety of my husband's arms -
My favorite place to be -
Everything is all right.
We're here.
Together.

I am an optimist,
Trying to find the best in everyone,
And in every situation.

An optimist... who easily sees
From a pessimist's point of view
With a sarcastic kind of humor.
"Can you imagine if such-and-such happened...
Wouldn't that just be awful?"
*giggle giggle*

I am not the 'perfect young lady'
People have thought me to be -
The one they might have wanted to see...
I am far from it.

I often confuse myself.
I often annoy myself.

I often find myself laughing
...at me.

And the answer to my question -
Seemingly simple,
But oh-so-complex -
Is this:

"I am all these things."